How often should grandchildren see their grandparents?

Intergenerational relationships benefit children greatly. Being surrounded by loving, supportive adults helps create a safe environment for them. Family traditions stay alive when your kids spend quality time with their grandparents frequently.

Every generation has invaluable wisdom to offer.

And that’s just one of the reasons why a relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is crucial.

Intro

Allowing your children to bond with your parents and in-laws exposes them to diverse ways of thinking and broadening their worldviews.

Grandparents also gain significantly from their interactions with their grandkids. Unless you live in a multigenerational household, your parents – by blood or by marriage – may not get to be around your children as much as they want to.

How often does the average grandparent see their grandkids? What can you do to bridge the generations before and after you? The answers to these questions aren’t straightforward.

How important are grandchildren to grandparents?

Quality time with their grandkids matters to grandma and grandpa on various levels. The emotional connections between loved ones help keep family ties strong.

Grandparents play critical roles in passing down values to younger relatives. Through storytelling, they can share insight into the clan’s cultural heritage, giving your offspring a solid sense of identity.

Meaning and purpose

Intergenerational bonds give retirees a new meaning and something to look forward to. Many retirees don’t feel as useful as when they’re preoccupied with work and other familial duties.

Forging relationships with their grandchildren can reinvigorate their sense of purpose. Older people generally feel needed when younger loved ones come to them for advice or guidance.

Engaging with their grandkids promotes good well-being. It can keep them active and cognitively stimulated, helping them remain physically and mentally fit.

Learning

Grandparents can also learn from their younger loved ones, especially regarding electronics. Many older people are technologically challenged because keeping up with innovations can be too confusing and exhausting for their age.

As digital natives, Gen Z and Gen Alpha can explain how all things internet-related work. Learning how simple it is to navigate devices, sites and apps will make your parents and in-laws’ lives easier and spare them from frustration when streaming content, playing games and browsing through social network sites.

How often does the average grandparent see their grandkids?

Some experts suggest that grandparents and grandkids who don’t live under the same roof should reunite once weekly, while others feel it should be as frequent as holidays and special occasions.

The truth is there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this million-dollar question. It depends on numerous factors, including the proximity of each other’s residences and the ages of your children and their grandparents.

Moreover, different people want different levels of involvement with their grandkids. Those who like to play active roles in your children’s upbringing may want to spend time being around them more frequently. Those who prefer to prioritize personal space and peace over family are more comfortable with fewer interactions with their immediate relatives.

Tips on knowing how often grandparents should see their grandchildren

These practical tips make deciding how often your children and their grandparents should see each other less challenging…

Take the initiative

Reach out to your parents by blood and by marriage to know their thoughts and feelings regarding meetups and visitations. Doing this proactively can help set your expectations accordingly so you can plan things out properly.

Speaking with your parents and in-laws should be easy when you’re close to them and in regular contact. However, initiating this conversation can be tricky if you seldom share life updates or are on bad terms.

If you’re not on speaking terms with your parents or in-laws, this may be the time to bury the hatchet for the sake of your children.

After all, they may have a right to see their grandkids. Leaving fences unmended may jeopardize your kids’ development, for missing the chance to bond with their older immediate relatives will make their world smaller and limit their learning opportunities.

Determine how involved they want to be

Avoid guessing the level of involvement your children’s grandparents want, especially if you’re clueless about their daily activities and routines. They may want to spend quality time with your kids but are too busy to be with them as much as they want to.

The number of American seniors who are still in the labor force is on the rise. The 2008 financial crisis wiped out $2.4 trillion worth of individual retirement accounts and 401k plans, forcing many workers over 65 to stay employed longer to support themselves.

Work out who’s going to whom

About 20% of all driver’s license holders in the United States are motorists over 65. However, they account for 19% of all fatal crashes.

Even if your parents and in-laws are willing to go to your home to visit their grandchildren, think twice before letting them hit the road. If their homes are within driving distance, visit them instead. If they live farther away, offer to meet halfway to reduce their chances of getting into an accident and spare your kids longer road trips.

Sow the seeds of healthy intergenerational family relationships

Regardless of your closeness to your parents and in-laws, consider everyone’s needs to make a sound decision.

It takes a village to raise kids, so bring as many caring grown-ups to your children’s lives as possible to give your little ones the best chance to succeed.

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Beth is the mental health editor at Body+Mind. She has five-plus years of experience writing about behavioral health, specifically mindfulness-based cognitive therapy. Beth also writes about the power of human design to reveal our full potential and purpose. You can find her on X @bodymindmag.